here comes the sun

Here I am again, writing another blog! I suck at writing blogs. It's pretty much only a diary to me...and I don't know who is reading this, but sorry. 

I started talking to a friend again. I lost him last year. These deaths have really helped me refocus my life. I emailed him, and he was surprisingly happy. He was really happy in fact. He wrote me back a really long email and that was really good. I was happy, and so was he. Now we've been talking nonstop. He used to be my best friend and i hope we are right on track now. It's good, and life is good. We should stop worrying about the drama, and everything and just live life. Be happy. 

You know what I hate more than anything? When people aren't real. There's this guy... Yeah..I know a guy. He has the potential to be amazing. I've seen it in him. I've felt it in his kiss. He could be awesome, and possibly the one for me. One problem: He can't get over himself. He has this show of putting himself on, like he has to prove something to someone out there. When he's around me he's awesome, which is very rare because he's so worried about his reputation. The thing that I don't get is why he's so scared to like me. HIs friends all like me, I just don't get it. Something happened one night, and maybe that was a mistake, but still it taught me that he can be a beautiful person. I just wish he would show it.

Zach was also a beautiful person. Always smiling and laughing. And did he ever have a faith on fire. He was always witnessing his faith to people, and I'm so glad to have met him. This whole death thing has really shaken me up. It has helped me refocus my life though, and what I'm meant to do on this earth. It's not to get a job, have kids, get married... find the love of my life, it's to proclaim his gospel far and near, and I should stop worrying about stuff like ABOVE! But we have a sinful nature. After this happened, I'm so excited to get out into the world and spread the gospel to people. This has helped me realize that I need to be telling people all the time. I need to look to the cross. 

Zach,

You were awesome, and I'm so glad to have been your friend. You were and still are an inspiration to me. Have so much fun in heaven. "You know what's good about hearing the birds chirp? It lets you know you're alive." I love that quote of yours. You always wanted wings, and now you have them :) I love you Zach.